this one scene in the latest simpsons episode got dangerously close to classic simpsons levels of heartfelt
(via sidneylumet)
In honor of Father’s Day, here are some screenshots of me talking to my weird dad
Those of you without your glasses on may be asking: “why are there fruit gummies on this leaf?”
The answer: these are some absolutely stunning Glass Frogs! You can see straight through these little dudes’ skin!
fuit gummy
hate those days when ur just a lil’ stinky for no reason. showered, put on deodorant, wore clean clothes. status: just a lil stinky. but why?
is it cause I got all this blood in me. is it the stomach contents? do I need to get something out of here
me: why am I stinky?
my body: ingredience
(via shimadahaanzo)
achillesvevo-deactivated2020090:
me, holding a pizza box and shouting: SUE!
customer walks up
me: sue?
customer opens the box, frowns, and sticks her finger in the pizza: i didn’t order pepperoni
me, with a voice devoid of any emotion: ……. sue?
customer: oh! no i’m (name)!
the actual sue, materializing at my elbow: is that a pizza for sue?
me: would you like some free breadsticks to eat while we remake you pizza? another customer touched it
‘another customer’ sheepishly mumbles sorry
sue, who has clearly worked with the public: you take as long as you need to, honey
11/10 a good doggo posing for his hooman’s insta
